I used to be very selective about which Facebook friend requests I'd accept. This came from the mistaken idea that Facebook friends were actually friends. I mean, my Facebook friends are friends, of course, but it took me awhile to figure out that Facebook isn't a coffee date, or a party at my house, or a private gathering of BFFs.
It's like a big interactive address book. I can assemble all my acquaintances without having to write down their contact information -- without even having to contact them at all. What used to feel like a disturbingly public place is now, I realize, actually very private. It's Facelessbook.
If, for instance, I regret getting back in touch with Paula Peilmeister from 6th grade, I can filter out her Status Updates, or hit Ignore when she asks for my birthday, or delete her altogether -- and I never have to find out how she felt about it. And because Paula, like most of us, is inured to the facelessness of the Internet, she probably doesn't even care that much.
And so I've updated my definition of friendship: I now have FFriends (pronounced fffriends), Contacts, Speed-Dials, and ICEs. FFriends are everyone on my Facebook friends list. Contacts are good enough friends to be in my cell phone. Speed-Dials are the 20 people I call most, and ICEs are my In Case of Emergency designates (not to be confused with just any old relatives).
These days, if you're legit and not a Facebook Slut (someone who collects FFriends like Pokémon cards), I'll probably accept your friend request. Just don't expect me to read your Status Updates. No offense, but honestly, I'd rather fold laundry.
